Just over a year ago, we buried my nephew. It seems as if there have been many losses in the past few years. Some very young and unexpected.
Only 24-years-old, my nephew left behind a one-year-old baby and its young mother, and so sadly, grieving parents. My husband and I arrived at his brother’s house in Las Vegas with lots of love, food, and hugs.
There were so many grieving, so many who needed to be held, to be heard, to be counseled. And all the while, the 13-month-old baby was a delight to behold as he interacted with the spirit of his departed father.
The trouble with most adults is that we forget where we came from. We are spirit in human form. I have always known this, yet it wasn’t until I helped one of my patients die, that I experienced this truth sitting at his bedside:
“His diminished energy, faded to non-existent in his limbs, now concentrated in his heart chakra, shimmered, and I gasped to see a funnel of light connect to him. He appeared to lift from his form — pure white light not the fiery red of his life force—and enter the conical-shaped energy.
Other light forms greeted him, ancestors, and guides, passing him along to the end. And at the infinite end of this brilliant white light was pure Love.
He was enveloped, embraced like long lost lovers, the encounter so intimate; I was torn between turning away in deference to such a private moment and watching in awe.
Suddenly, his essence turned away from the Light and I was swept up to see from his perspective. It appeared as if the room where his body lay, even me at his bedside, existed in a fishbowl. The reality was the Light, the physical existence, an illusion.
Death is a passing through the veil of illusion and into the truth. There is nothing to fear.”
– From Death and the White Light.
So many people seem to be transitioning right now… At the time of writing this I had been to three funerals in as many weeks. I’d counseled many patients, loved ones, and friends who’ve experienced the loss of a dear one. I truly believe that these souls are transitioning now to help us connect to the spirit world. Our love for them becomes the portal. But only through joy can we connect.
Two months after my husband’s grandmother died, she came to me in a dream. She was a bit disgruntled that I “had not let her in earlier”. My husband received her immediately after her death.
I believe it was because we were happy for her. She was almost 91 years old and was ready to go. In fact, at the end when multiple strokes took her memories, Gran did not recognize her own daughters, yet she asked for us, recognized us when we visited her. I think that’s because we had created joyous memories with her especially in her last few years.
So in this dream, I asked Gran if the other family members were letting her in. And she told me that their fear was blocking her from making contact.
I shared this with the grieving parents of my Nephew. Indeed, the morning after arriving in Vegas, Gran came to me again – and told me she was showing her great-grandson “the ropes”. The grieving parents were grateful to hear that Gran was with their son.
When we came home, instead of sending a sympathy card, I wrote a letter to my brother-in-law reminding him of some of the intimate counsel I gave him. I think other grieving parents may benefit from this letter, so I have adapted it. If you feel moved, please share it.
Dear Grieving Parent,
Know that you are loved very much. We wish there was more we could do to relieve you of your pain. We cannot fathom what you’re going through but are so impressed with your courage and strength.
While the pain in your heart will lessen with time, it won’t go away completely. Know that the pain, the grief, the loss of your beloved child will be the event that transforms you.
Life will become more precious. You will begin to live more in the moment, less in the past. You will stop worrying about the future and start enjoying the time you have now to spend here on earth. Because that Presence, that ability to receive joy in the moment, that is your child’s gift to you.
Your child was and is a sensitive soul. A tender heart without an adequate shell for life on earth who felt everything perhaps too keenly. Imagine being a sponge soaking in everyone’s emotion – the good, the bad, and the ugly. Eventually it would take a toll on you. The stress would be tremendous and eventually a way to escape would be welcome.
You might have heard of the indigo children. Indigo represents their life force – the sixth chakra, the one that lies between the eyebrows – that is their dominant trait.
Brilliant, sensitive, insightful. Most of these indigo energy souls were born in the eighties, some as late as the nineties. Yet these children who perceive their world so much more acutely than their parents often seek escape. Many are diagnosed with learning disabilities or mood disorders. Some seek escape through chemicals. Many commit suicide. Your child was not alone.
These souls came to earth to transform our consciousness, to help make us more aware of our hearts. They live to stir up our emotions, to make us feel again through the drama of raising them and letting them go. Especially through their passing, they gift their soul family with the emotional change needed for spiritual transformation.
So what change is needed?
It’s time to Choose Love.
Your child’s death is a message. Time for a change. It’s time to release despair and embrace hope. It’s time to live not from our root chakra of survival but in our heart chakra where love and compassion exist.
I believe that means to be open to receive love. As a parent you may be great at giving love. It’s just much harder to be vulnerable and open to receive love. And even harder to learn to love yourself. To be compassionate not just to others but to yourself. You see, love begins with you.
The old energies were about martyrdom, sacrificing ourselves for others. We look at these young people as selfish when they seem to have no goals except that of self-pleasure, but perhaps they are part of the pendulum swinging.
The generations before them loved to work waiting until retirement to enjoy life. Their generation work to live… enjoying life now. They are reminding us that this life is about joy. That’s not to say that you should not take care of your responsibilities. But do it out of love, not out of fear.
You see in order to live a life of love, to really begin to love yourself, then truly love others, you must Choose Love.
Every choice you make is either motivated by either Love or Fear. All negative emotions – jealousy, anger, frustration, disappointment, despair – are aspects of Fear. All positive emotions – joy, hope, compassion, appreciation, especially gratitude – are aspects of Love.
You now have a unique opportunity to choose Love. Every moment of every day. It’s ok to feel fear, but when you act let it be from Love. Your love for your beloved child will be the fuel for your new way of being. And your loved ones will be your practice field. Now time to start choosing love for you. Taking great care of yourself, loving yourself, releasing fear, and embracing joy.
Choose Love and you’ll always be home. Your beloved child lives now in your heart. Your child is your connection to the spirit world.
When you lose someone precious to you, their death becomes a portal for your soul transformation. Once your grief lightens, in those brief moments of joy, when your heart is open then you will realize that your child is right there with you just waiting for you to expand your consciousness and receive them. Your personal angel, your spiritual guide now, and for all those loved ones left on earth that are open to receive them. That’s the amazing thing about being outside of our bodies, we can be anywhere, anytime, with anyone all at the same time!
We love you and will always be here for you.
Love and light,
Deborah Maragopoulos MN FNP
Intuitive Integrative Health