Menopause happens to every woman. And if you’re in a relationship with a same-sex partner, eventually, you’ll both go through the change. Let’s discuss how you can talk to your same-sex partner about menopause and how you may experience it differently.
First, you both need to understand what menopause is, because education is the key to empathy. Menopause means your very last period, but you’re considered menopausal when you haven’t had a period for at least 13 months, and your follicle-stimulating hormone is over 30. The 5-15 years prior to your last period is called perimenopause, and that’s when your hormones begin to decline. You may start to have symptoms like insomnia, hot flashes, and night sweats. Also, you may notice a decline in your sex drive at that point, and perhaps a little bit of vaginal dryness. You may gain weight, and be fatigued and irritable. Your periods will start getting irregular and unpredictable.
Knowing what your treatment options are will help relieve both of you, especially if you have a plan. In our Menopause Action Plan workshop, I go over all the possible options to treat all the phases of the change. You’ll know everything you need to know about hormone replacement therapy, estrogenic, progestational, and androgenic herbs. Any supplements that could help during the change. As well as alternative therapies, such as mind-body interventions that have been proven through research to help. If you’re interested, you can sign up for my MAP workshop here.
You’ll want to talk to your partner about some of the changes you’ll have to make to your lifestyle.
Things like your diet, your activity, and ways to add meditation and stress reduction techniques to your life in order to really thrive during this time. Plus, if you’re close in age, she’s probably going through the change too. Her experience may be very different from yours, yet changes in your lifestyle and habits will benefit you both, as aging gracefully together is the goal.
It also would be helpful to talk to your partner about how during this time, women benefit by having circles of other women around them. It’s very important to have some place where you can ask questions and get the emotional and practical support you need. A lot of things are happening during menopause. Not only are your hormones bottoming out, but you may have children that still depend on you, parents that depend on you, and maybe even grandkids that are being born. You may be going through a career change at this time. Maybe you or your partner are retiring. That’s a lot of transitions to adjust to, and when your hormones are bottoming out at the same time, it can be tough.
Gathering compassionate circles of women can be the best way to thrive. That’s why I’ve created an exclusive group called the Hormone Healing Circle, which provides a deep level of support to women going through the change of life. Along with the other members, I’m very active in the group to support and guide you.
Now, let’s get into some menopause tips to benefit both you and your partner:
Number one is stock up on lubrication. With declining estrogen levels, your vagina becomes dry, and sex can be painful. My favorite natural lubricant is coconut oil. It maintains a nice pH balance in the vagina and tastes great.
Number two is start dating again. This is a great time to get to know each other again, because you’re not the same people you were when you first got together. Your hormones are changing, which affects the way you both think and feel. Plan fun dates as well as make time to have really deep conversations so you can check in with one another.
Number three is to understand that it takes time to get back into balance and heal. You may choose to use hormone replacement therapy or nutraceuticals (or both) to help you stay balanced. It takes at least 90 days to get back in balance, because your hypothalamus becomes so dysregulated during the change.
If you want to join us in our Menopause Action Plan workshop, that would be great. If you’re just not sure yet, we have a Menopause Action Plan Guide so you can start understanding a little bit more about what to expect. I hope you’ll join us at some point in the future!