Feed it and your underlying emotion emerges.
Your moods fuel your behavior. But behavior is learned and can be changed.
When I was in grad school, working weekend night shifts at UCLA as a float nurse, raising a medically challenged two-year-old, trying to pay our first mortgage, my husband and I separated. It was my choice. We had been together since high school and needed a break. I had fast-tracked my life.
Super serious, valedictorian, the perfect girl syndrome which manifested as an eating disorder… led to college graduation, career, marriage, a mortgage, a baby, grad school… all in a two-year span. Add the death of my grandparents, the divorce of my parents, and my husband becoming a cop… well, kind of stressful.
But Super Deborah handled it all! Or did she?
One evening I was studying, cleaning the kitchen, and trying to feed the baby. Not appreciating my inattentive attitude, he spit peas right back at me. I caught myself lashing out… at a two-year-old! Horrified, I backed away and called for help.
Literally, I got on the phone and called my grad school counselor. Of course she wasn’t available that late, but I left a teary voice message. Thankfully she called back and got me in for counseling the next day.
I was terrified that I was becoming my mother. Lashing out in utter frustration was mom’s way. She knew no other. Nana did the same to her. I was bound and determined to break the cycle.
It took years… in fact, not until I started taking Genesis Gold® some fourteen years later… did I finally get to the root of my emotional issues? Feeding my hypothalamus I finally started healing.
But the path to healing is not all gumdrops and roses. It’s hard work unveiling your deepest emotions especially when you’ve been suppressing them through chemicals, addictions, or in my case… bulimia.
Unlearning what you’ve been taught as a child is difficult. It’s instinctual to act like the people who raised you.
If you’re frustrated… that’s a mood. Being mean to others is an action. Your frustration, anger, sadness… the emotion needs to be acknowledged. But it’s up to you to find a healthy outlet to express your emotion.
Our separation was the best thing that could have happened to us. Our life looked like a fairy tale, but it wasn’t. Being alone… the emotions I had kept at bay started bubbling up. I chose to get professional help. Which was not a thing in my family. No. You sucked it up. Acted out your emotions privately. Let the world see your pretty happy face. Let your family see your ugly mean face.
Serious Deborah did not drink in her youth. Not until our separation did I go out with a friend who suggested I loosen up with a drink.
Alcohol lowers inhibition. The real you emerges.
I am happy go lucky when I drink. The life of the party, dancing on tables, making jokes, laughing. My sisters love Fun Deb. But Serious Deborah is the one they depend on… the one everyone leans on.
I’ve learned over the years to go with the flow of my emotion and balance my moods by practicing healthy behaviors. Journaling my feelings helps. Professional counseling has been a godsend. Reading the inspiring words of others makes me feel less alone with my very human emotions.
Supporting my hypothalamus with Genesis Gold® has helped me deal with some pretty traumatic events, receive the gift in life’s lessons, and continually blossom into better and better versions of myself.
Just recently my husband had a heart cath. As the medical professional in the family, everyone turns to me for advice and support. I am their rock. Realistically I knew all was well, but subconsciously I was scared. My fear revealed itself the night before his angio. I dreamt that we were walking down a dark road and come to a busy intersection. He bolted across the six-lane highway… without me. I turned to a woman standing at the intersection and cried in her arms, “why did he leave me?”
But I pulled it together to support my husband during the procedure. When the cardiologist came out to the waiting room and said – his arteries were clear – I jumped up crying and hugged him. I’ve been crying ever since. Tears of joy. Watching This Is Us for the first time brings me to tears. Verklempt. Too emotional to speak. Just feeling. My husband had to have his heart cathed for me to tap into mine. I am so very grateful for this depth of feeling.
Part of it is finally becoming menopausal. I’ll be 57 on the spring equinox. It’s time to begin this new phase of life. So far it’s been rich. Thankfully I have Genesis Gold® to help make the transformation.
1. WRITE IT – Journaling your feelings gets them off your chest and helps you see the progress you’re making. Keep a big and a little Journal. Your Big Journal is for deep exploration of your feelings. Let it all out in your Big Journal every day. Your Little Journal is to carry with you to record feelings as they come up and maybe the corresponding event that provoked the feeling. I carry a tiny notepad in my purse to jot down whatever comes up. Then I write nearly every day in my journal I keep by my bedside. In fact, I started this post in my Big Journal. I’ve been writing down my feelings since adolescence. Looking back over the years of journaling, I can truly see my psychospiritual progress.
2. SPEAK IT – Seek counseling, either individually or in groups. Having a safe place to talk about your feelings really helps bring perspective. Professional therapy can be invaluable. Free support groups can also provide the space to express yourself with others who are experiencing similar issues. In the ancient past, women used to gather every moon cycle. In the red tent, we shared our feelings with our sisters and girlfriends, got sound advice from our aunts, mothers, and grandmothers, renewed ourselves monthly. Today we rarely stop to take care of ourselves during the most vulnerable time of our cycle. Finding a compassionate person or group to share your feelings helps you process them so you can act more consciously.
3. EXERCISE IT – Burn off your pent up emotions. Vigorous activity can be very healing and literally can save your relationships. Dance, run, or swim with your feelings. Cycle, hike, paddle your emotions. Do something active every day and especially when you’re feeling on the brink of an emotional storm. When the kids were little and I was at my wit’s end, my eldest used to bring me my running shoes, “Mommy, you need to go for a run.” I did. And it always helped.
4. CREATE IT – Channel your emotion into something creative. Garden, paint, crochet. Make something out of your deep feelings. You don’t have to be an artist, but it does feel so much better to release your emotions into clay or dirt or dough. Just before I turned 50, the depth of feeling nearly overwhelmed me. This was it. Kids all grown up. Husband and I were on our own. Business was stagnant. I was on the brink of aging. I channeled my change of life emotion into a hunk of clay. Never before had I attempted sculpting but the experience transformed me. I wouldn’t call myself an artist yet my hands formed my feelings quite vividly into the clay. And saved me.
5. FEED IT – Give your hypothalamus what it needs to heal. Your deep unconscious emotions must be acknowledged and felt or they will haunt you, drive you to act unconsciously. Genesis Gold® helps balance your hypothalamus so you can feel your genuine emotion and still act with consciousness intention.